Isn't He Too Dreamy?
by ashangel101010
Summary: Sequel to "Fear Me, Love Me" story. Shelley is the dark jewel in place of Hux's heart.


Isn't He Too Dreamy?

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Suggested Theme:

Main Theme- Audrey's Dance by Angelo Badalamenti

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The Man in the Mask slips inside like he's one of the shadows on the wall. His large feet should be thundering against the marble, but Shelley suspects that he's pulling one of his magic tricks again.

_What a weak whelp. _

She too slips into the shadows through the 'fresher door. Her paws make no sound because she retracted her natural claws. Nature saw fit to bestow her the right traits, so she wouldn't have to rely on magic.

_I am purrfect. _

The Man in the Mask hunches over the bed, hovering above her sweetheart with his lumpy rump in the air. She runs, leaps, and bites onto a fatty cheek. She relishes the surprised scream from him and it makes her man wake up. The worry that would've nibbled at her heart is replaced with utter glee when he wraps his pinkish legs around his throat. Just one powerful squeeze from those thighs will kill the Man in the Mask.

_Kill him. _

"Good, you remembered our last conversation. Now, I'm going to let go and get Shelley." She would let out a disappointed yowl. However, her man scratches the patch between her ears and makes her relax into a boneless bliss, making her let go of her quarry. He catches her without fail.

"Kylo, I need you to go to the 'fresher and drop trou."

"What?"

"I need to clean your wound!" She can feel the disappointment radiate from the Man in the Mask, making her tilt her nose up.

_Hah, like my man would ever mate with him!_

The Man in the Mask tucks his metaphorical tail between his meaty legs and heads for the 'fresher, while her man puts her on his pillow and then heads for the 'fresher. She pouts and quickly climbs down the little staircase at the foot of the bed. She won't leave her man alone with that whelp.

The Man in the Mask's pasty ass has a ring of red thanks to her bite and his gloved hands are gripping the porcelain rim of the tub, waiting for the rubbing alcohol to burn him. Unfortunately, her man's soap dispenser provides no sting.

"Does Ben knows if Shelley got her vaccinations?"

"She got her damn shots, so I won't catch any diseases from her." He grumbles like an angry little boy that he is. "And what was she doing out of bed?"

"She always gets up in the middle of the night to use her litterbox."

"So she can actually use the litterbox!? She always pissed on Ben's sheets and shat on his pillows!" His anger snaps at her, but she bats it away with her cool paw.

"Pittins prefer going outside and letting nature take care of it, but they can be trained to use the litterbox. Wow, she's super-smart because I didn't train her to use the litterbox!" Her man gushes and she soaks it in like a sea urchin.

"So you and the Prince are an item!" Her man teases that impossible yet disgusting image into her head.

"N-No, we aren't!" The Man in the Mask makes awkward choking noises.

"How else would you know about her _accidents_ if you weren't sleeping together?"

_Those weren't accidents. _

"Is that all the proof you have?" With her man's hands lathered up, he finally cleans her bite marks.

"No, the greatest proof is that you're a ginger!" Her man presses a black towel into the wound.

"What!?"

_Can he whine any louder?_

"Skywalker males have ginger fetishes. Ben's biological grandfather clearly had a thing for Palpatine. Why else would he have turned to the Dark Side?"

"Because he was clearly manipulated by that shriveled old man!"

"That's true, but he wanted to get in the Emperor's robes. Maybe Palpatine would still be alive if he allowed it, but Palpatine seemed to loathe touch." Her man pulls back the towel and is pleased that the wound has stopped bleeding.

_Another one of his magic tricks, too bad he can't make himself disappear. _

"Then, why didn't he go after Obi-Wan Kenobi, he was a ginger!" The Man in the Mask pulls up his trousers and rubs at his sore area; Shelley rolls her crystal blue eyes at him.

"Actually, he started off blonde and his hair redden over time, so not a true ginger. More an auburn like Mon Mothma."

"And how do you know that?"

"Mara Jade. One of her pastimes is collecting the history of Jedi. She's also a ginger that Luke Skywalker fell for."

"Luke? Please, he would sooner amputate his dick than break his sacred vow of Jedi chastity."

_Hmm, maybe I could amputate his with my claws!_

"Just mention her to Luke and watch him go into convulsions, while at it drop that he fathered twins with her and he'll have a full-on heart attack." Her man grins with utter malicious delight. She laps it up like her mother's cream.

"Poodoo, to have kids one would need to have sex!"

"Look up Jacen Djo and tell me he doesn't look like an auburn version of Anakin Skywalker!"

"Jacen Djo? The husband of the Queen-Mother of Hapes?"

"The very same one. Oh, and Tenel Ka Djo is a ginger, so another example!"

"And how do you know that this applies exclusively to the males?"

"Because the women seem more interested in age gaps than gingers. Although, Padmé Amidala clearly had a crush on Palpatine when she was a teenager."

"WHAT!"

"At least that's what I got from her diary, she drew little hearts over the _i's _in his name!"

"The Royal Library in Theed would be overjoyed to have that diary."

"Exactly, or you could give it to Senator Pooja Naberrie, one of Amidala's nieces, who could convince her queen to give the Resistance some more supplies."

"What makes you think Naboo supports the Resistance?"

"Because they still feel guilty for being the homeworld of Darth Sidious and supplying the Diet Rebellion is their way of atoning."

"The Diet Rebellion?" The Man in the Mask scoffs.

"_The Resistance_ has been used thousands of times in fiction, particularly in dystopian fiction. It's such an unoriginal name. Why not _The Rogue Cell? _Or _The Rebellion's Revenge_? That last one would probably make for a kick-arse pirate ship name!"

_I just love how his green eyes light up like a child that needs protection from the cruel world._

"We are not about originality, but to prevent the First Order from spreading its tyranny across the galaxy."

"Only for the New Republic's galaxy because pfassk everyone else in the Unknown Regions, right?" Her man's cold anger encases his emeralds in icicles. "The Chiss Ascendancy and Firefist are hoping that this Cold War will eliminate the human infestation that the New Republic inflicted upon them. I'd like to believe that won't happen, but I'm not there to stop it from happening."

"What about Grand Admiral Sloane? Isn't she the puppet master of your farcical government?" The Man in the Mask remarks snidely.

_After I turn him into a eunuch, I will claw out his vocal cords and make him a mute eunuch! _

"She holds a lot of political sway, but that doesn't mean she's the de-facto empress like you're implying. The First Order government is a militaristic meritocracy."

"No, the First Order is a military junta."

"Military juntas require a dictator to head it, not a council."

"You can argue the political semantics of all this with Ben. For Queen Amidala's diary, what do you want in exchange?"

"I have only three demands. First, I want at least an hour in the open-air courtyard with Shelley for the rest of my imprisonment. Second, I want my red datapad back. Finally, I don't want to interact with Poe Dameron for the rest of my imprisonment."

"The first one is feasible. The second one won't happen. And the final one is where I have to ask why."

"Poe Dameron is painfully boring. He's handsome in a conventional way, but he quips way too much to the point where Spider-Man would point at him."

"Is this _Spider-Man _an ally of the First Order?"

Her man bursts into a fit of maddening laughter. The Man in the Mask curls his fists, while Shelley unsheathes her claws.

"What's so funny!?"

"It's the way you said it! You sounded like General Zod!"

"There's no _General Zod _in the First Order!" The Man in the Mask raises his voice to silence her man's giggles, but her man collects himself after a sniffle.

"You're right, he isn't and would never work for Superman's pets." Her man grins with all of his crooked teeth. The Man in the Mask sighs and uncurls his fists, but Shelley keeps her claws out.

"I will present your demands to the General, but I know she won't approve your second demand. For all we know, your red datapad could be a homing beacon in your mismatched hands. How did you get your left arm burnt? And your legs while at it?"

"The arm got burnt by a Lesser Dragon, while the legs were from a twenty-four hour torture session when I was sixteen. Speaking of torture, I do hope you remembered what I told you last time. I also forgot to mention that I have a small penis."

The Man in the Mask makes choking noises, and Shelley sincerely hopes he's having a heart attack.

"My penis is small enough to fit in one of your hands."

_And he just aroused him. Sickening!_

"W-Why are you telling me this!?" The Man in the Mask's voice turns into static at his high octave.

"So you won't waste your precious torture time emasculating me!"

"The Resistance doesn't do torture!"

"Yeah, and the Old Republic didn't have corrupt politicians." Her man waves him away like an annoying fly. "Just tell General Organa if she can't fulfill my second demand, then I want something to entertain me. And New Republic propaganda doesn't count!"

"You have Shelley."

"I'll paint her mornings of gold; I'll place the moon inside her heart." Shelley's young heart skips a beat at her man's proclamation.

"Was that poetry? I don't think it is because it didn't rhyme." The Man in the Mask drips with sarcasm, but her man doesn't pick up on it.

"Watch _Labyrinth _and open your heart to David Bowie." Her man prescribes, but Shelley doubts it'll be used as intended.

"…I'm going to leave now."

"Wait!"

"Why?"

"Were you in my room because you were going to drag me out of my bed in hopes that it'll disorient me so I would let something slip about the First Order?"

"…..Yes."

"You're gonna need to try a lot harder."

"You mean _do_, there is no try."

"Then, go _do _your boyfriend." Her man teases with a foxy grin. The Man in the Mask doesn't bark at him or retort; he turns to walk away. Shelley scampers back to her plasticine steps and curls into a ball onto her man's pillow. Her man's bare feet slap against the golden-threaded marble. He runs the tips of his fingers across her back, and she unfurls like a nighttime flower.

"My Shelley with her pretty belly!" He coos and presses soft kisses into her fur.

_My man and no one else's._

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**Author's Comments- **Here is the link:

Shelley also got inspired by Julie Newmar's Catwoman because I love those cat puns. If she was human, she would probably look like a young Audrey Horne and then grow up to be Julie Newmar: a href=" . /revision/latest?cb=20171019025157"Link/a

Shelley would go Wile E. Coyote on Kylo/Ben if she had opposable thumbs and succeed; she's that smart and malicious. Also possessive.

Next part is I'm not sure when it'll come. But it'll deal with Hux's demands and lots of teasing.


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